Raising Kids and Teens with Confidence in God, Not Their Own Strength

Raising kids and teens with confidence in God rather than their own strength is one of the most important and rewarding challenges we face as parents. As a blended family and as individuals, we have done a lot of healing—both of the heart and through counseling. I believe we all grow up with wounds, trauma, and struggles, and it’s so important that we work through these as soon as possible so we can have strong identities in Christ and walk in freedom with joy, peace, and a right relationship with our Heavenly Father.

That being said, I came to this understanding much later in life, after becoming a parent. In my healing journey, I overcame the struggle of performance-based love and earning approval through achievements and accomplishments. This false identity led me to put my confidence in my success rather than God. I did not want my children to fall into the same trap. Instead, I wanted them to have confidence in God—in His abilities and power working through them—rather than relying solely on themselves.

5 Practical Ways to Start Raising Kids and Teens with Confidence

To do this, I first had to recognize and heal from these tendencies in my own life. Since then, Daron and I have worked hard to teach our children these truths. Here are a few ways that have helped us:

Teach Them Their Identity in Christ

Why It Matters: Confidence rooted in God starts with knowing they are children of God, created in His image, and deeply loved.

How We Do It: All three of our kids participate in sports and extracurricular activities like singing, playing video games, exploring social media, and working in our family business. We love seeing their passion and growth in these areas. However, we make an intentional effort to reinforce that their identity isn’t tied to their performance. Whether they win a game, succeed in a competition, or decide to pursue a new interest, they are loved by God and by us. Their worth isn’t based on what they do but on who they are in Christ.

Discussion Prompts:

• What does it mean to you to be created in God’s image?
• How do you feel knowing that God loves you no matter what you accomplish?
• Can you think of a time when you felt pressure to prove yourself? How does knowing God’s love help in those moments?

Activity:

A few years ago, I gave my kids journals to use during prayer and times of teaching at home. This simple practice has been an easy way to encourage them to write or draw whatever they feel God speaks to their hearts. It’s also provided a safe space for them to share situations and struggles they might be going through.

Encourage your kids to use prayer journals during family prayer times. Here’s a link to a few I love. Encourage them to write or draw about what makes them feel loved by God and to reflect on their identity in Him.

 “You are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14

“True confidence isn’t found in what you do but in who God says you are. That’s the identity that will carry you through every season of life.” – Brooke Farmer

Model a Life of Faith and Dependence on God

Why It Matters: Kids learn more from what they see than from what they hear. Witnessing you trust God in all areas of life helps them develop their own faith.

How We Do It: Daron and I involve our kids in our biggest prayer requests and challenges. Whether it’s a big decision like moving, seeking wisdom for a financial situation, or starting a new business, we invite our kids to pray with us. We let them know we don’t always have the answers, but God does. This shows them how to rely on God’s guidance and believe in the power of prayer.

Discussion Prompts:

• What is something you’re trusting God for right now?
• How can you show others that you’re depending on God in your daily life?
• Why is it important to include God in your decisions?

Activity:

I saw this idea, and we plan on trying it this year: Create a family prayer board. Each member writes prayer requests on sticky notes and places them on the board. As prayers are answered, we move them to the “answered prayers” section to remind us of God’s faithfulness.

Encourage Prayer and Hearing God’s Voice

Why It Matters: Confidence grows when kids know they can hear from God and rely on His guidance.

How We Do It: We teach our children that God speaks to each of us in different ways. God is always communicating through His Word, dreams, feelings, or even discernment. We encourage them to read the Bible and ask, “What is God speaking to you?” When they have dreams, we provide a safe space for them to share and discuss if those dreams might be meaningful. This practice helps them develop confidence as they learn to recognize and trust God’s voice.

Discussion Prompts:

• Have you ever felt like God was speaking to you? What was that like?
• How can we make time to listen for God’s voice?
• Why is it important to share what you hear or feel God is saying?

Activity:

We actively do this and encourage our children to take turns praying for each other, speaking what is on their hearts for the person they are praying for. It has been a powerful way to strengthen their faith and confidence in God’s voice.

Teach Them to Embrace Weakness as a Place for God’s Strength

Why It Matters: Kingdom teachings remind us that God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Kids need to know it’s okay to struggle.

How We Do It: One of our children went through a tough sports season, moving from a leadership position on one team to barely playing on another. This was discouraging and tested their confidence. During this time, we leaned heavily on God’s Word and reminded them that their worth isn’t tied to their performance. It was hard to watch, but God used this season to build perseverance and powerfully show His love.

Discussion Prompts:

• How does it feel to know that God is strong in your weaknesses?
• Can you think of a time when a struggle helped you grow closer to God?
• Why do you think God allows us to go through hard times?

Activity:

Write down an area where you feel weak or discouraged and pray as a family for God’s strength to show up in that area. Reflect on how He answers over time.

Build Their Foundation on God’s Word, Not the World’s Standards

Why It Matters: The world promotes self-reliance and performance, but God calls us to rest in His love and strength.

How We Do It: Social media and cultural pressures constantly push the narrative of hustle and self-promotion. Instead, we teach our kids that true promotion comes from God. During a recent prayer time, I reflected on the verse, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). I reminded our family that when we root ourselves in God’s Word, we can rest confidently in His plans and timing, rather than striving to prove ourselves to the world.

Discussion Prompts:

• What are some messages the world gives us about success? How does God’s view differ?
• How can we rest in God’s timing instead of striving to make things happen on our own?
• Who is someone you admire that reflects God’s character in their success?

Activity:

We often try to use real examples of athletes, leaders, and coaches our kids admire. When we see them give glory to God, go through tough times but show perseverance, or carry success well, we highlight it in our conversations and discuss what we can learn from their example.

Raising kids and teens with confidence in God rather than their own strength is an ongoing journey. It requires intentionality, modeling faith, and creating a home centered on God’s truth. But raising kids and teens with confidence in God is worth every effort to see them grow into young people who walk boldly in their identity in Christ. Let’s continue to plant these seeds and trust God to grow them in His perfect timing.

XO,