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10 Tips on How to Keep the Romance Alive

Have you ever met a couple who’s been together for 35 years and they still look at each other with a spark in their eyes? Even after decades together, they seem to share a mutual admiration and delight that even the most cynical hearts can’t help but dream about. Daron and I strive to be that couple when we’re old and gray, and I truly believe that romance is a crucial element of a happy relationship. We’ve put together 10 tips to keep the romance alive to help you stay intentional in your marriage.


Spend Quality Time Together:

Set aside dedicated time for just the two of you, whether it’s a date night or a weekend getaway. Nothing replaces simply being in the presence of one another and enjoying each other’s company. Life can be busy, but just making an effort goes a long way to keep romance alive.

how to keep the romance alive brooke and daron farmer

Keep the Communication Strong:

Regularly express your love, affection, and appreciation for each other, and actively listen to each other’s concerns and needs. Communicating well with your spouse can take time.  It’s important to speak lovingly and forgive quickly as you learn your different communication styles and what works best for you.

Also, it’s important not to be defensive when communicating with your spouse. When it comes to receiving feedback from our partner, it’s important that we don’t make excuses or respond with a counterattack. Instead, we should be honest with ourselves and try to be the best version of ourselves.

Try New Things Together:

Exploring new experiences and activities can bring excitement and novelty to your relationship. Getting outside of your comfort zone as a couple also requires you to trust them.  Whether you’re making a fool of yourselves learning to snowboard or taking a cooking class together, it’s a memory you share a bond over that can last a lifetime. Daron and I truly believe that “Couples who play together stay together.” Don’t hold back from trying something new together.

Here are a few ideas of things we like to do together: golfing, going to a concert, playing pickleball or tennis, hiking, taking a new class, skiing, going to a sporting event, traveling to a new city, cooking together, and boating.

couple's bucket list ideas

Keep the Physical Affection Alive:

Regular physical affection, such as hugging, holding hands, and kissing, can help maintain intimacy and a strong connection. It’s easy to see the romance in these things, but making it a point to be affectionate to your spouse can sometimes fill in the gaps where words fall short.

bucket list for couples

Show Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly express gratitude and appreciation for your partner through words and actions. Simple things like saying thank you for doing the dishes, making them a cup of coffee, or leaving a sweet note in your spouse’s lunchbox or suitcase are ways to let them know you’re grateful they’re in your life.

We also believe another way to show appreciation and gratitude for each other is to give each other the time and space to stay healthy in mind, body, soul, and spirit.  What this looks like for us is encouraging each other to make time for working out, helping each other eat healthily, and giving each other time to rest our minds and do self-care.

how to keep the romance alive

Maintain Sexual Intimacy:

Make intimacy a priority in your relationship, and find ways to keep the spark alive through sexual intimacy, physical affection, affectionate gestures, or shared interests. This seems obvious in keeping romance alive, but you’d be surprised how many couples let this fall to the wayside, especially with busy careers and children! Daron and I make this a weekly priority, and encourage other couples to do the same.

Prioritize your Relationship with Date Nights:

Make your relationship a priority and take steps to invest time and effort into maintaining a strong and loving connection. One of the ways Daron and I like to prioritize our relationship is date night.  We make it a habit to get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant several times a month. Taking walks or cooking a meal at home together are also free ways to put your relationship and romance first.

For fun date night advice, check out our 6 Fun Date Night At Home Ideas.

couple's bucket list ideas

Be Supportive and Understanding:

Show empathy and understanding towards each other, and be there for your spouse through both good times and bad. Trying times in your relationship and romance don’t usually go hand in hand together. Still, I find it romantic knowing that my spouse will be there to catch me when I fall, that they won’t walk away when I need extra support.  Try to use encouraging words and be mindful of how you speak to your spouse through texts and conversations. As simple as it sounds, try to follow the old saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  If you are looking for ways to encourage your spouse with your words, get my free download, “25 Words to Encourage Your Spouse”, here.

couple's bucket list ideas

Literally, Keep the Romance Alive:

Surprise each other with small gestures of affection and romance, like flowers or a love note. Daron loves a good steak and potatoes meal, and I love to surprise him with it after a long day. He likes to bring me coffee and sing romantic songs to me. We do a pretty good job of being thoughtful with what the other enjoys, and the surprise of it all keeps the romance alive week after week.

Romantic Dinner Recipes:

Old Fashioned Spaghetti & Meatballs

Strawberry Tiramisu

Pray and Worship Together:

Praying with your spouse requires vulnerability.  It allows you to see their needs and share what is going on in their lives. Doing this regularly builds deep intimacy and trust with your spouse, which is important to strengthen your relationship as a couple. Praying together also opens your hearts to forgiveness which is an absolute must if you are going to be in a long-term relationship and marriage.

Daron and I like to pray before going to bed.  We also usually have one evening set aside each week where we intentionally spend time in prayer and worship together. What works for us is to turn on our favorite worship music, and then we pray for each other, our family, our friends, our businesses, and our community. We spend time expressing gratitude and encouragement. It isn’t fancy or formal for us but more a way to communicate and have intimacy through prayer and worship.

Make each other a priority:

Make your partner and your relationship a priority, and regularly work to strengthen the bond between the two of you. Romance can be found in the simple and mundane if we simply be intentional about it.

how to keep the romance alive

The truth is, there is no right or wrong way to keep the romance alive in your relationship – it’s really what works best for you! You’re in a marriage because you love and cherish your partner, so keep reminding them of that in small ways to collectively make your relationship healthier, happier, and last throughout the decades with a spark in your eyes.brooke and daron marriage tips romance

I hope these 10 tips to keep the romance alive give you ideas in pursuing your spouse. It’s not easy to prioritize your marriage when you’re busy with work and kids, but implementing a few of these 10 tips will surely help! Let me know your favorite ways to keep the romance alive in your relationships in the comments.


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