How to Build a Marriage That Lasts: Start with the Right Foundation

This post may contain affiliate links, view our disclosure policy.

Real talk from a home builder’s wife on the power of the Christian Marriage foundation.

My husband, Daron, has been building homes for over 20 years. From custom houses to commercial buildings, he’s seen just about everything when it comes to what makes—or breaks—a structure. But over the years, as I’ve walked beside him through builds, renovations, and even investing in properties, I’ve learned something that applies far beyond real estate: foundation issues matter.

Whether we’re touring a flip house or evaluating a dream home, one of the first things we look for are cracks in the foundation or signs of water intrusion in the basement. Why? Because those visible signs tell us the truth about what’s happening underneath the surface. They give us insight into the strength of the structure and let us know what needs to be repaired before we ever move forward. The good news? Most foundation issues can be fixed—you just have to get to the root and rebuild the right way.

The same is true in marriage.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” —Psalm 127:1 (NIV)

This scripture is a cornerstone reminder that if Jesus isn’t the one guiding our homes and marriages, all our efforts will eventually come up short.

The Cracks Don’t Mean It’s Over in Christian Marriage

Cracks in your relationship—whether it’s communication breakdowns, constant tension, or feeling spiritually out of sync—don’t mean your marriage is beyond repair. But they are signals. Invitations to pause, investigate, and take intentional steps to restore. They often point to something deeper: pressure, misalignment, or a lack of spiritual grounding.

Here’s the encouragement I want to share from our experience: In all the foundation issues we’ve ever seen—and believe me, we’ve seen some serious ones—we’ve never seen a foundation that couldn’t be fixed. Restoration is possible. You just have to be willing to do the work and rebuild on what matters most.

3 Ways to Repair & Reinforce the Foundation of Your Christian Marriage

Inspect the Soil: What Are You Standing On?Ask yourself: Is Jesus truly the center of our marriage? So many couples build on feelings, personal expectations, or the way their parents did things. But only one foundation will hold when the storms come—and that’s Christ. If your marriage feels shaky, begin by checking the soil beneath it.
Address the Pressure: What’s Pouring In?Outside pressure has the power to cause deep internal cracks. Is it busyness, financial strain, or emotional wounds you haven’t talked about? Is it social media comparisons or unspoken resentment? Don’t just patch over the damage. Get to the root of the pressure and let God begin the healing work.
Rebuild with God’s Blueprint for a Healthy Christian Marriage:If you want lasting change, you have to build with new materials. Start praying together again. Get into the Word. Talk about what love looks like according to God’s definition—not the world’s. Humility, forgiveness, grace, and sacrifice are what hold a house of peace together.

Prayer for a Strong Christian Marriage Foundation

Lord, we don’t want to build in vain. We surrender our marriage, our home, and our future to You. Show us where the cracks are—not to shame us, but to restore us. Be our foundation. Strengthen us where we’ve been weak. Lead us to build a marriage that stands strong and brings You glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Activation

Take a walk through your home, literally. Pray room by room:“Lord, You are the foundation of this home. Let Your peace, truth, and love dwell here.”

This simple act of faith sets the tone for the atmosphere you want to build—both physically and spiritually.

Want more devotions like this one? Stay tuned for the next part of this series: “Framing the Structure of Your Marriage.”